Some Unexpected Visitors

I came back to Utah after being home for one day, Ariel's birthday. I have spent this past week up here taking care of my dad. One day we set dad up on the edge of the bed to help rest his back, he is in so much pain now from laying down so much. While he was sitting there, my sister, Lisa, brought our attention to the window. We saw a family of deer walking around the backyard. My dad was sitting up just at the right minute and was able to see them too. We let them eat a few of the tomatoes from the garden that we don't like, but when they started for the good stuff, my sister told me to chase them away. I waked outside and clapped my hands at them, and said, "Friends, it's time for you to go now." I moved towards them until they felt threatened and decided to leave by the side gate. I shut and locked the gate. It was quite a wildlife show for someone who lives in the desert. Apparently, these deer families just wander around all the time up here.

On Sunday, September 19th, I said my good-byes to my dad. These past few days have been very difficult. He always thought he was going to beat this cancer. We thought if anyone could, it would be him. He is finally beginning to accept that he's not going to make it, but not before he has lost the ability to communicate with us. He tried to tell me something as I was saying good-bye, he tried with everything he had. I could not understand the thoughts and words he wanted me to know. The other day my brother Jon and I, were talking to him about death. We shed a lot of tears. He doesn't want to die. He is mourning the future he will never have here. We are mourning what our lives will be like without him. I know that my dad's time is very short now. It was hard to leave and go home. I cried the whole drive back to Vegas. It is hard to believe that I won't be there for the end, after so much time caring for him.