Every 15 Minutes

I don't know if you have participated in a "mock death," but it is not an easy thing to do. The past few days, I was involved with my first and hopefully my last. Megan and 25 other students were chosen to participate in her high school's "Every 15 Minutes" program. It is an event put on by our local police department to demonstrate to high school students the effects of driving under the influence. They did an excellent job making everything as realistic as possible. It costs about $75,000 to put on one event. The community donates hotel rooms, food, etc to help with the costs. Henderson Police does this for five high schools. They do three high schools one year and two the next. 

Thursday morning, the road in front of the high school was shut down for the accident scene. It was lined with bleachers for the juniors and seniors and the parents of the ones who "died." The parents were seated before the assembly started. There were two crashed cars on the street, complete with a drunk driver and three victims from the student body. Megan was a "ghost" with 21 other students, they stood on the street, perfectly still and quiet. Their faces were painted white and their lips were black, they represented the number of victims that died, in the course of one school day. In the United States a person is killed or seriously injured in alcohol related accidents every 15 minutes.

Some of the "ghosts"

Getting the driver out

Megan told us, after we were reunited with her today, that she was in first period class when the grim reaper came in and said, "Megan Hendrix, your time is up!" She said you could hear murmurs start through the class and he yelled out, "Silence!" She gathered her things and left the classroom and then her teacher read her obituary to the class. They received "toe tags" that they wore around their necks that told the specifics of their death.

When the assembly started, you could hear a heart beating, and then it stopped. The dispatch call was sent out to the officers over the PA system. I was surprised how much the dispatch call affected me. She announced one person was dead on arrival. The police cars came rolling up with lights and sirens, the fire trucks came on the scene. The girl who died, had gone through the windshield, and was laying on the hood. They started working on getting the other girls out of the car. The emergency workers were miked so you could hear all their interactions as they discussed the injuries and the accident scene.

While they were getting the girls out of the one car, another officer pulled the "drunk driver" out of the other car, he had "thrown up" on himself. An officer did a field sobriety test on him, which he failed. He was placed in handcuffs and put in the patrol car. The victims in the crash had been made up with very "life like" injuries, and lots of blood. One girl was taken away by ambulance and the other was loaded into life flight. The helicopter landed on the vacant dirt lot across from where we were sitting. It was crazy to hear the helicopter approaching and have it land right in front of us. We had quite a bit of dirt and debris hit us in the face from the wind. The coroner was called in and processed the crime scene. The last girl to be taken away was the one that "passed away." An officer and the chaplain came over to the bleachers and got her parents and walked them over to the car and asked them to identify their daughter. Then her body was put in a body bag and loaded into a hearse. The girl in the helicopter "died" en route to the hospital. The one that left by ambulance, was "paralyzed" from the neck down.

The "drunk driver" taking field sobriety tests 

Life flight landing 

The "drunk driver" being taken to jail 

The parents identifying the body of their daughter

 The body was loaded into the hearse and taken to the morgue

The assembly lasted about an hour. It was very difficult to watch and many parents were struggling with their emotions. When it was over, the parents gathered back in the parking lot of the school. They called everyone up one family at a time to notify us of our child's death. Unfortunately, I was by myself, because Todd couldn't get away from work. The chaplain asked me if I was the parent of Megan Hendrix, he then told me that she was riding in a car with her friends and that Megan wasn't wearing her seat belt. He told me they were hit by a drunk driver and that Megan was ejected from the car. He said he was so sorry to have to tell me that Megan had passed away. Even though I knew this was all pretend, I was not prepared to hear those words, it was a terrible. I started to cry and walked back and got into my van. I sat there for a little while and was completely overcome with the grief of the whole situation. Within ten minutes of hearing the news that my child had "died," I got a call from my brother-in-law telling me that my newest nephew had been born. I thought it was very interesting that I received both news so close together.

Ariel had called me during the time I was struggling to compose myself, she told me that it was OK that it wasn't real. The sad thing was, that it was "real," it was real to many parents and families who lose their loved ones to death every single day. Terrible tragedies happen every day, and on a very small level, by imagining it had happened to me, I could feel a portion of the pain that they suffer. I truly cannot comprehend it, it would be completely unbearable.

We weren't able to see Megan again after the assembly or talk to her. The kids had to leave their cell phones at home, so we had not contact at all. It was very hard coming back to the empty house and walking around her room and seeing everything that she had just touched that morning and thinking what it would be like if she never came back. They took the group to the court house, where they watched their classmate, the drunk driver, be sentenced to three consecutive 20 year terms for each life he affected by causing the accident. The judge told him he would get out of jail when he was 78 years old. Then they took the kids to a hotel where they listened to speakers who were victims of a drunk driving accident and also a drunk driver who caused the death of his three best friends, when he was 16 years old. He drove his car into a block wall going 80 miles an hour. He spent two years in a detention center for minors and now lives with the consequences of one decision that he would probably give anything to change.

Thursday night, we attended the parents retreat. We were told we could bring any family with us that were over ten, so we asked Aaron to come with us. There were about 26 kids chosen for this program. The parents of the kids were asked to tell everyone in the room about their child, what they were like, what their dreams for the future were, so we could get to know the kids better. That part of the night took about an hour and 20 minutes. I was very moved by it. As I listened to the parents talk about their kids, their struggles and their strengths and their weaknesses, I realized how hard life is for everyone. The parents all have such high hopes and dreams for their kids futures. One parent told us that she lost her older son to an accidental drug overdose three months ago. Another dad talked about how he had raised his daughter alone since she was three years old, her mother walked out on them and never had anything more to do with their daughter. Another mom talked about how her daughter's dad, even though he lives in town, is to lazy to be involved in her life, he doesn't call or see her, and how much that has hurt their girl. Such sad stories, but we also heard stories of how kids have overcome trials of all kinds, and become stronger people because of them.

When we were done talking about our kids, we watched a video of two local parents who had lost their sons to accidents that could have been prevented. Their stories were tragic and they struggled to share them with us. When the video was over, we were asked to write a letter to our child, it started out: Dear (Megan) today you were killed in a drunk driving related automobile accident, I never got the chance to tell you... Todd and I started writing our letters. Aaron wasn't sure if he wanted to write one, he was having a hard time with everything he had seen and heard. After a few minutes, he decided to write one and filled up two pages. He wouldn't let us read it last night, but I read it when I brought Megan home today, it was very touching. He told us last night before bed, "I learned some things, even though I wasn't even in the program." I hope he had some things impressed on his mind that he will always remember.

This morning we had to be at the school by 7:45, Todd took the day off work so he could come with me. When the assembly started the 26 kids who had died, walked into the gym in a single file line. They walked past an open casket set up in front of the gym. They were each carrying a flower that they laid in the casket. Amazing Grace was playing on the bag pipes, I can never keep it together during that song. It's always been a hard song to hear, but since it was played at my dad's graveside, it is even harder for me. When the kids were all seated, the morticians came up and closed the casket and wheeled it away. During the assembly we saw a video presentation of the accident scene from yesterday. There was a special guest speaker, the mother of a girl who was killed three years ago in a drunk driving accident, she would have graduated from high school last year. I appreciated the courage she displayed by getting up and talking about her daughter. 

 When the assembly was over we were reunited with our kids, it was so great to hug Megan again, knowing how blessed we were that she was returned to us. We had a little something to eat and gathered her "tombstone" and her obituary posters, which had been displayed in the courtyard of the school, and left. Megan and I went out to breakfast and she told me all about her experience. It turned out to be a very good event for her, it wasn't so good for me, but I learned a lot from it. It made a huge impression on me. As hard as it was to participate in, I am grateful for the things I took away from it.

Probably the hardest thing I had to do was write Megan's obituary. I hope I will never have to write one for any of my children.

Megan Lyn Hendrix, beloved daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, cousin and friend, passed away on October 6, 2011 due to injuries sustained in an automobile accident. Megan was a senior at Green Valley High School and was active in the student council.  Megan was born on May 27, 1994 in Salt Lake City, Utah. She arrived eight weeks early and was our little miracle baby. She spent her first four and a half weeks in the newborn ICU fighting to stay alive. Megan lived in Utah, Washington, and moved to Henderson when she was 2 ½ years old. She struggled for several years to learn to speak and learned, while young, that weaknesses can be turned to strengths with hard work. Megan will be remembered for her dedication, determination, her sense of humor, kindness, faithfulness, strength and courage. Megan was a friend to all. She had a compassionate heart and cared deeply for the less fortunate. She had the ability to see beauty in everyday things that most people ignore. Megan had a creative mind and loved photography. She could photograph a pile of rust and turn it into a work of art.  One of her many dreams, was to travel the world as a photographer for National Geographic. She was an active member in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. She was a dedicated student. She loved music and animals, especially dogs. She loved spending time with her family. She was blessed with the ability to be a peacemaker and did her best to live up to that gift.

Megan was preceded in death by her grandfather, Mark Freebairn. She is survived by her father Todd, her mother, Angela, her older sister, Ariel and younger brother, Aaron. Megan is also survived by loving grandparents, and many aunts, uncles and cousins. Her unexpected death has had a huge impact on so many, she will be greatly missed by family and friends.

Megan was a beautiful gift in our life. We are eternally grateful for her example and the honorable life she lived. She had high moral standards and through her example encouraged others to be good.  She had a strong desire to learn and live the truth no matter the consequences. We consider it a blessing and privilege to be her parents. We are heartbroken to lose our little girl, and mourn the loss of her future here on earth.  In spite of the grief we feel, we are comforted by our religious beliefs. We know she is safe and has been reunited with her grandfather and other loved ones. They will watch over her until we are together again. Funeral Services will be held at 11 am, October 10, at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints chapel, located at 920 E Wigwam Ave, Henderson, NV. Friends may pay their respects on October 10, from 9:30-10:30 am at the Wigwam Chapel prior to the funeral. Internment will be at the Centerville Utah Cemetery.